Receiving the results of a selective school entry test is a significant moment for parents and students. The results can bring a sense of achievement and joy if your child secures a place, or they may lead to disappointment and uncertainty if the outcome isn’t as hoped. This blog will explore how to navigate both outcomes—celebrating success and healthily managing disappointment. We’ll also provide practical advice on building resilience and finding alternative opportunities for your child’s education journey.
Celebrating Success: Acknowledge and Appreciate the Achievement
When your child successfully enters a selective school, it’s natural to feel proud and excited. However, it’s essential to celebrate this achievement thoughtfully and meaningfully.
- Acknowledge Their Hard Work: Recognise the effort your child put into preparing for the test. Celebrating the process, not just the result, reinforces the value of hard work and perseverance.
- Keep Expectations Realistic: While it’s important to celebrate, remind your child that gaining admission is just the beginning. The academic environment will be challenging, and maintaining a balance between celebrating success and preparing for future challenges is key.
- Plan a Celebration Together: Involve your child in planning how to celebrate. It could be a small family gathering, a special dinner, or an activity they enjoy. This approach makes the celebration more personal and meaningful. Since the preparation was a family effort, the celebration should be as well. Make it a shared experience to appreciate everyone’s support and hard work.
- Avoid Comparisons with Others: It’s important not to compare your child’s success to those who didn’t receive an offer. Many students who do not get accepted are incredibly intelligent and diligent. Remember that there are numerous factors involved in the selection process beyond just intelligence. Avoid making remarks that might diminish the efforts of other students, as it fosters a negative mindset and detracts from a sense of empathy and compassion.
Handling Disappointment: Supporting Your Child Through a Tough Time
If the results are not what you or your child had hoped for, it’s crucial to handle the disappointment with sensitivity and care.
- Acknowledge Their Feelings: Allow your child to express their emotions. Whether they are feeling sad, frustrated, or even embarrassed, validating these feelings is the first step toward healing.
- Reframe the Experience: Encourage your child to see this experience as a learning opportunity rather than a failure. Discuss what they could improve upon if they decide to try again or explore other educational pathways.
- Focus on Strengths and Achievements: Highlight your child’s strengths and remind them of their past successes. This helps build self-esteem and shows that this one result does not define their abilities or future potential.
- Avoid Comparisons with Others: I am going to repeat this point here. Comparing your child’s achievements to those of others is never helpful. Many students who do not receive an offer are just as intelligent and hardworking. It’s important to recognise each child’s unique strengths and efforts rather than diminishing them through comparison.
- Do Not Blame the System: I understand the frustration of not achieving the desired results, especially when you’re aware of your child’s potential. However, blaming the system can be a harmful habit to pass on to your child. When things don’t go as planned, it’s important to learn from the experience and move forward. Blaming the system hinders this crucial learning process.
Turning Disappointment into Strength. This is how you build resilience.
Building resilience is key to helping your child bounce back from disappointment and preparing them for future challenges.
What truly defines us is our ability to rise each time we fall. It’s not about how often we stumble, but how we recover and grow from each setback.
- Encourage a Growth Mindset: Teach your child that intelligence and abilities can develop with effort, practice, and learning from mistakes. This mindset can help them see setbacks as opportunities to grow rather than reasons to give up.
- Set New Goals Together: Work with your child to set new, realistic goals. Whether they decide to retake the test or focus on other opportunities, having a clear plan can provide direction and purpose.
- Seek Positive Role Models: Share stories of successful individuals who faced setbacks early in their lives. These examples can inspire your child to keep pushing forward despite challenges. Examples such Thomas Adison who failed thousands of times before succeeding is lifting; J.k. Rowling (the author of Harry Potter) who was rejected by numerous publishers, her journey from a single mother living on well-fair to the author of the best-selling books in history and many other examples are more than inspiring.
It is not the end of the road. Many other opportunities are waiting for your child; identify and seize them.
Exploring Other Opportunities: The Path Forward
If selective school entry is not possible this time, there are still many excellent educational pathways available.
- Consider Other Schools: Look into other schools that offer a strong academic curriculum or specialised programs that might align with your child’s interests and strengths. Many non-selective high schools now offer a gifted class (or gifted and talented class)
- Explore Extracurriculars: Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities. These programs can provide enriching experiences, build new skills, and foster a sense of achievement.
- Look into Tutoring: If your child is determined to try again for Year 8 entry, tutoring can provide targeted support to help them improve in specific areas where they may have struggled.
Supporting Your Child’s Educational Journey
Navigating the results of selective school entry tests can be a challenging experience, but with the right mindset and support, both success and disappointment can be valuable learning experiences. Celebrate achievements, manage setbacks with care, and always focus on building resilience and exploring new opportunities.
What To Do Next?
If your child didn’t succeed this time, don’t lose heart. Consider seeking professional tutors help to better prepare for the next step. Our expert tutors and comprehensive resources are here to guide your child through every stage of their educational journey. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you and your child in reaching their full potential.
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